how do I tighten the remote mirror bezel, I have the bezel and washer but I cant seem to get the bezel to catch the thread on the mirror on a standard panel
Not sure if you have the handle already attached to the cable. if so, you should be able to use the handle to pull the backing closer to catch the spin nut.
If you DON'T have the knob on the remote you won't get it on with the mirror installed.
Where are you putting the backing washer? It should be over the remote, behind the panel, with the inner tab in the groove of the remote. Slip the remote through the door panel, slip the bezel over the remote. Grab the handle and pull gently. This should expose enough thread to get the bezel started.
I think when I put mine on after installing new door panels, I had to remove a little of the door panel packing around the hole to make it easier to catch the threads of the mirror.
True, sorta. The bezel has 4 little notches at 90 degrees from each other on the inner diameter. There is a tool that spans the knob and fits in the notches, but you can also use a pair of needlenose pliers that have a 90 degree bend in the jaws. You can find them in model shops.