Thanks all, used your help / pictures and a little trial & error .
I could see that the metal piece behind the dash (that switch spindle passes through) was loose and thought that maybe that came out with the switch. I found out about this "spacer" because I found links to how it fit stumbling onto posts about this on older year Stangs. But nope, that piece was NOT coming out.
Started loosening the fuse box. Got the screw loosened but it never really screwed all the way out, but I could pretty much tell that even if I got it totally loose, it really wasn't going to be able to move much out of the way.
Reinstalled the switch so that it was held firmly in the dash. Using a big flat blade screw driver, I was able to see the connector move, was able to get to a couple different places around the perimeter, and the connector popped off. There were no tabs holding it in, only friction. With the connector off, there was plenty of clearance to maneuver the switch out.
I was in heaven. I had bought a new switch and a module that goes between the switch and the connector so that you have intermittent options. Had started doing the wiring and for some reason decided that I'd finish installing the switch in the dash and then finish the wiring and figuring out where to put the connector and the new module.
This is probably the first time ever that I made the right decision. i would have been really PO'd if I did all the wiring and then installed the switch in the dash.
BECAUSE :::::::::
They sold me the WRONG SWITCH. The spindle is TOO SHORT. :jawdrop:
I honestly do not even remember where I bought it, it was at least a year ago that I bought these and was finally getting around to installing everything..
:bomb: