Ain't It The Truth...

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detritusmaximus

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 21, 2013
Messages
1,173
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Location
US
My Car
1973 Grande #1 looong time ago
1970 Sportsroof #2 almost as long
1971 Sportsroof M-code #3 needs money
2008 GT #4 where the money went
Irrefutable Laws

1. Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.

 


2. Law of Gravity- Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.


 


3. Law of Probability-The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.


 


4. Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers. (Or they have Caller ID and call back)


 


6. Variation Law-If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).


 


7. Law of the Bath - When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings..


 


8. Law of Close Encounters-The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.


 


9. Law of the Result- When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.


 


10. Law of Biomechanics - The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.


 


11. Law of the Theater & Hockey Arena - At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle, always arrive last They are the ones who will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer, or the toilet and who leave early before the end of the performance or the game is over. The folks in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have long gangly legs or big bellies and stay to the bitter end of the performance. The aisle people also are very surly folk.


 


12. The Coffee Law - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.


 


13. Murphy's Law of Lockers - If there are only 2 people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.


 


14. Law of Physical Surfaces- The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor, are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet or rug.


 


15. Law of Logical Argument- Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.


 


16. Brown's Law of Physical Appearance- If the clothes fit, they're ugly.


 


17. Oliver's Law of Public Speaking- A closed mouth gathers no feet.


 


18. Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy-As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.


 


19. Doctors' Law- If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better.. But don't make an appointment, and you'll stay sick.


 

 
detritusmaximus, Thanks for the good laugh!! As far as #1, when I was racing (which means I was always working on something broken) my hands were always greasy and... well you know the rest. Back in my dating days you could always count on #8. If I was someplace I wasn't supposed to be  with someone I wasn't supposed to be with, everyone I knew seemed to be there also!!     :D

 
Any attempt to print Murphy's laws will jam the printer.

You never run out of things that can go wrong.

Tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint on it and he'll have to touch to be sure.

Any tool, when dropped, will roll into the least accessible corner of the workshop.

Corollary: On the way to the corner, any dropped tool will first always strike your toes.

When you are over the hill, you pick up speed!

 
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