My bad day

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Joined
Aug 7, 2010
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Location
McDermitt, NV
My Car
1973 Convertible H Code, 351C 2V FMX
There I was, sitting at the bar staring at my drink when a large, trouble-making biker steps up next to me, grabs my drink and gulps it down in one swig.

"Well, whatcha' gonna do about it?" he says menacingly, as I burst into tears.

"Come on, man," the biker says, "I didn't think you'd CRY. I can't stand to see a man crying."

"This is the worst day of my life," I say. "I'm a complete failure. I was late to a meeting and my boss fired me. When I went to the parking lot, I found my car had been stolen and I don't have any insurance. I left my wallet in the cab I took home. I found my wife with another man and then my dog bit me. So I came to this bar to work up the

courage to put an end to it all - -

I buy a drink, I drop a capsule in and sit here watching the poison dissolve; then you show up and drink the whole thing!

But enough about me, how's your day going?"

 
LMAO...that's a good one, hope I don,t offend anyone with this one...

A guy in the office is complaining to another about his marriage going bad. The other guy says hows the sex life? he answered and said "with working so late all the time we only indulge once every two months"

Oral? the guy asked.

"No" replied the man.

"Well there is your problem" said the other guy.

The man thinks about this for a time and decides to remedy the problem.

He gets off work late as usual but this time he pulls in the drive with lights off, eases the door open and sneaks upstairs to find her fast asleep as usual. He gently slips between the covers at her feet and does his thing. She excitedly finishes and falls instantly back to sleep.

Proudly the man get up and heads to the bathroom, he opens the door to find his wife sitting on the toilet. The man says loudly "WHAT THE HELL?" his wife said "shhh you'll wake your mother"

Sorry I know that's bad...lol

 
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