The Gremlin is Loose

[BigBlue]

This Thanksgiving, one of the items on my long list of things I’m thankful for, is being blessed with many years of a trouble free electrical system. But last night that streak ended with an annoying gremlin that’s got me scratching my head.
I attempted to take Blue for a night time gas station run (weather was perfect), but my headlights wouldn’t turn on. So I said screw that, and back into the garage she went. Today, I decided to go back and figure out the issue, but now I’m really confused.
Here are some of the things that happen:

• When I switch the headlights on… Headlights, front parking lamps & front marker lights are all dead. All rear lights, as well as instrument lights, turn on fine.
• When I pull the headlight switch, high beam indicator is always on, regardless of whether the high beams are switched on or not. The high beam indicator is also on even if the switch is only pulled once for parking lamps.
• The right turn signal light on the dash is also on all the time (left one is burned out so not sure if that one would also turn on).
• Only the rear turn signals work with headlights switched off. If I pull the switch one click out, both rear turn signals work but both front left and right parking lamps blink. WTF. If I pull switch all the way out for headlights, only rear left works, and right turn doesn’t do anything at all.

Not sure what the hell is going on with this thing, but figured I’d ask you all before going down the rabbit hole and driving myself nuts. I’ve had the headlight switch go out many years ago but it only affected the headlights turning off after a while. Can this wackiness can be attributed to it? Also, fuses seem fine.
Has anyone experienced this before?

Anyway, hope everyone has a lovely Thanksgiving!